Got the wife’s replacement phone. Fucking wi-fi doesn’t work.

“rsync: command not found” Oh come on, really?

It’s peanut butter jelly time.

It’s 3am. My wife is going to be PISSED OFF when she figures out that I’ve made a serious dent into her wine frige. And I hate wine.

It’s almost 3AM. I really should be sleeping. No shit.

I could really use a Bloody Mary.

Am I the only one out there that doesn’t care about movies in 3D?

Shut it you jerks! I’m watching #BreakingBad later!

I’m sorry, but without @LisaLampanelli , these roasts just aren’t nearly as funny. Period.

OMG Carrie Fisher. Good lord.