I did, however, end up rolling over to a friends house for some late night home improvements after work. Guys, tools, and cold beer. You will never see a bigger load of tomfoolery in your life. Yes, I know, I used the word tomfoolery. It definitely seems fitting. I may do the same this evening, depending on how work goes on this glorious night.

You just don't get it do you. Linking to others has never been one of my strong points. Neither has making any sense. But read the title! Does it say a Collection of links to other people? No! This isn't a collection of links, its a collection of nonsense, a collection of my verbal confusion, a collection of absolute stupidity. It's my collection.

But if it makes you, and more importantly them, happy.....

Check out Amy's and Danielle's weblog / journals. They are both two class act folks that I knew many moons ago. I'm sure they will amuse and inform each and everyone of us for many days to come.

I'm sure both of these two ladies can rest now that I have linked to them.

The kids that attend school at the district at which I am employed at can be described as, well, jackasses. They are for the most part from upper to upper-middle class families. Spoiled little bastards is what they really are.

Let's start off with the complain at the top of the list, the buildings themselves. I realize some of the buildings in the district are well over 60 years old. But why harp on it? Isn't it what is going on inside the buildings that really matter? The building looks old.  The colors look funny.  They know this, I know this, we all know this.  Get over it. They complain about the technology used in the classrooms. One little ankle biter came up to me yesterday and said, "How comes (his English, not mine) you only have Pentium II 350mhz computers in this lab, my parents bought me a Pentium III 500!". I have an idea. Why doesn't that parent get their wallet out and buy the district 100 of those Pentium IIIs!? NO? Problem solved, thanks for calling.

I wish I had half the technology that these kids have today when I was in High School. Web Page Design in High School! Hell, they barely had Web Page Design when I was in college! I was still using a 2400 baud modem in High School. For the most part, I didn't even know what the Internet was. I had to make my own music CASSETTES, not burn CD's from MP3's that I downloaded from the Internet.

Matt: Sup B.
John: Nuttin. Just codin some websites, havin a Bud.
Matt: True...True...

Do you know what you get when you mix fifty years of dirt with fifty years of dusty insulation? Besides dirty and dusty insulation, you get an odd combination of "stuff" that doesn't really taste that bad. When you have your head stuck into dropped ceiling tiles, you tend to get some dirt and dust in your mouth, nose, eyes, ears, and any other uncovered orifice. Like I said, after six hours of inhaling the stuff, you start to get used to the taste. I think.

Although we are only a smalller country-side school district in Pennsylvania, stupidity filters it's way through the mess. Starting at 7am, someone called a local radio station and claimed that there was "a threat against the school that came from the Internet". No students were to show up to school for safety reasons. And of course, this lame radio station didn't bother to check the validity and announced this LIVE ON THE AIR three times in ten minutes. Way to drop the ball on this one boys.

And this is only the beginning. All throughout the day administrators and teachers have been hearing the gossip that "If you thought Columbine was bad, just wait and see what happens here." There were even a few signs taped to hallway walls that said "Anniversary Day, The End is Near for all."

I need something to bitch about, frickin Blogger is down again! Sorry Pyra, but you always pick the time to go down when I most need you.

I think I will pick my favorite topic to complain about, and that as you all (all 4 of you) know is stupidity. I have very little tolerance for stupidity. I have nothing but compassion for someone who is uninformed. But as we all know, there is a HUGE difference between the two. Usually someone who is uninformed has no problems asking questions. Plus, they have no trouble telling you that they have no idea "what the heck you are talking about". It's the people with a little bit of knowledge, who have the slightest bit of information that really bend my pole. People at work love to ask me questions about their "computer stuff" at home. I more then love to help. Until I ask them some questions and their true colors shine through.

"Trouble dialing into the internet huh? Lets see... What version of Windows do you have?" I ask.
"I just downloaded the new 5.0" he replied.
"I think your confused. That sounds like the version of America Online. I need to know what version of Windows you are using."
"5.0. I'm sure of it. I just got it. They sent me a free disk for Windows in the mail, and I installed it. Then downloaded the new version. But it screwed up my DOS BIOS Prompt. I think I need a new motherboard."

At this point, I usually publicly denounce them for being an idiot. And after that I bang my head off anything rigid that is within 10 feet. DOS BIOS Prompt. That is the worst conglomeration of terms I have ever heard.

I, by no means, am a genius. Far from it. Everyone knows I am a "Class A Moron". I never consider myself anything other. But I don't tend to babble and drool about something that I am clueless about. Talking to me and using any combination of terms that comes to mind will certainly not impress me, nor make yourself look good in anyone's eyes. All it does do it make you look stupid. Throw some arrogance and a little bit of ignorance in the pot, and you become the moron of the week.

Picture A, or the Before.

Next, apply any desired amount of pressure to any surface of the printer. I have chosen to first raise it eight feet in the air, and then allow it to free-fall to the floor. With some assistance, of course. Then, I used a pair of size fourteen shoes to stomp the printer until I began to laugh in a very evil manner.

Picture B, or the After.

After that I have been in a basically downed mood for the rest of the day. Hopefully after the last round of the Shack tonight, I can sit down and dive into some loud music. It usually helps to take the edge off…

Metallica…Creed…maybe even some Power Man 5000, as long as it's loud. Surprisingly, it usually helps me sleep….

Had a great night at Chad's last night. We held the usual campifre in the woods deal. There wasn't a huge amount of people there, but it was great nevertheless. For some stupid reason I took my camera into the Shack tonight when I went to work. And seeing as how I usually can't remember a darned thing for more then ten minutes, I left it there. Hopefully I will remember it tomorrow to add the most recent batch of pictures.

I went with Chad, Jen, his family, and some friends to Frank's Schoolhouse Tavern. Its a small joint shoved in the middle of nowhere. But it's got class! I tried to take a picture of the outside of the joint but it was too darned bright, I'll do better next time. And I assure you I was in no shape to take pictures when I left. Did I just say that out loud?

After the usual dinner and drinks routine, we headed back to Chad's for a little after-party-party. We again discussed the topic of Chad's wedding, which is coming up in September. And yes John, you are in it.

The people that come into my store are just plain dumb. I'm not talking like mildly unintelligent, I'm talking dumb. I have a hard time dealing with a person who points and replies, "Over there," when I ask them for their name and address.

That's a rare example, but here is another. Last night I argued with someone for over fifteen minutes when he came in for me "to look at his cordless telephone." After I determined it was the battery pack, which it usually is 95 out of 100 times, I replaced it. He then tried to turn it on. First, the battery only has a minimal amount of charge, so it usually won't remain turned on long. And it OBVIOUSLY won't work because the phone base is over 15 miles away at his house. He then states, "Nope bud, it still aint working."

You know what time it is. Nerf Bat time. SOK! SOK! SWAP! THWAP!. Choke on that sucko.

Like I said, it took 15 minutes of me drilling it into his head that there is no possible way the phone could work when it is nowhere near the base. This is just the beginning.

My favorite type of people, that lack the mental ability to tie their own shoes, are those who just LOVE to proclaim all of the illegal stuff they try to pull. Let's just talk about people who try to make these cable descrambler boxes. We all know it's illegal. We all know that the likeliness of someone getting caught and prosecuted is very slim. Going into a store and buying the parts is not what I'm referring to. I just can't believe that 9 out of 10 people actually tell me what they are using the parts for.
"Oh yeh, I'm gonna build me one of them descramblers to screw da cable company over."

I am hereby making this public announcement. This applies to any of the cable companies in the Lehigh Valley [PA] area. I will work as an undercover agent for you to catch some of these folks. If the money is right. Email me, we'll talk.

And as always, I tend to dwell on the negative rather then the positive. There are more then enough great people that come into the store that know exactly what they want, or have no problem explaining what they need to me in plain english. I can get along great with them, and they usually find that I will go out of my way to help them with anything they need.

Upon return, a woman from one of the Special Education departments approached me to inform me that "The 'Net is down." Presuming she meant she couldn't log in to check her glorious email, I told her that I would "Look into it immediately."

She then said, "It happens to us all the time at home. Why didn't you guys think of just setting the reconnect settings to 100? Then if the phone line gets screwy, it will redial."

Heh. At this point, we have well over 500 PC's on the network. Our Internet connection consists of a Fiber OC-3 patch to the ISP. How do these people think? A dial-up connection for all these systems? No wonder she is in the special education department. I think SHE needs to be re-evaluated.

So I did what any helpful person would do, I told her, "I will look into that. Great idea! And I will be sure to set the redial properties as well, just incase it is busy."

The trip home was great. Never, and I repeat never, let John be your on-board navigator. How can you miss the easiest PA Turnpike exit of all? Well we did...

Had the same usual gather-around-the-TV-and-drink-some-suds little shindig. Luckily John and I came to our senses and decided not to do some late night/early morning strolls around the campus. It was really a good time to relax and unwind.

Thanks to all who showed up [Sam, Chrissann, Stick, Jen, John....] and made it a great weekend once again. Thanks to Mike for planning the whole thing.

I'm off to get some much needed rest. If I ever wake up, I will get to posting some of the pictures from this little "experience".

John and I decided to turn in around 3:00am. This, of course, didn't work. Somehow one of us got the bright idea of walking "a few blocks" to Samantha's house. It turned out to really be 10 blocks. 10 blocks at 4:00am in the morning. We are rather brilliant individuals.

Instead of Sam cooking us a nice breakfast, we walked another 10 blocks to a Diner and had a little breakfast. This was the end of the road. Got back to my brother's apartment at around 6:00am and crashed for the night.